Magical Parties on Long Island

Party on Long Island! Here are some of my favorite event venues for all sorts of events.

Gus and Lilly's Party Palace. Located on the scenic service road of the Long Island Expressway, Gus & Lilly is a fun place for a funeral. Free potato skins with every Bar Mitzvah!

Leonard's of Melville. This Melville Long Island catering hall has everything you need for a lovely wedding party, unless of course your cousin Phil gets to drinking vodka and railing against the Democrats.

The Party Pit! Looking for a place to leave the kids while you go off and hang out with people who don't drool and mess their pants? Drop the kids off at the Party Pit! The Party Pit of Garden City uses low-voltage shock collars to keep your kids controlled.

Mr. Wong's Party and Dry Cleaning Emporium. Conveniently located in mobile van, Mr. Wong seats up to 4 people and 6 if they're very small. No stuffed shirts at Mr. Wong's, but plenty of starched ones.

Garden City Miscreant Society. Situated on 3 acres of condemned property, overlooking the taxes, this Garden City event venue is just the sort of place to have a party for people you don't really like.

Whatever you do, don't order the Fountain of Chocolate Special. It's dated chili with bad cheese and within 8 hours of consumption you'll know exactly how it got it's name.

Chucky the Rat's Pizza and Noisy Arcade. Who needs to hire a Long Island magician to entertain the kids when you have a loud place that steals all your change and smells of damp midgets and gin.